Attention Kristen Hyman: You Are Elite; Don’t Let Anybody Tell You Otherwise…
By Madame Margherite
I want to send a world of support to Kristen Hyman, a former Dominatrix. Right now she’s currently fighting for her job with the Hudson County Sheriffs Office. She has expressed shame and remorse and still that is not enough for the people in charge of making decisions regarding her position.
If Kristen can see this now, not only do I want you to know that you have nothing to be ashamed about. There isn’t anything wrong or shameful about being a Dominatrix. Providing safe spaces where people can safely, and sanely explore areas of themselves that would otherwise fester if suppressed is a service to the community.
People have the right to explore sexuality, and Professional BDSM is an art. A Pro-Domme doesn’t just know how to inflict pain, she knows how to inflict very specific types of pain and sensations, at specific moments without causing any long term or permanent damage.
There are all sorts of reasons to go to a Dominatrix or a Fetish Specialist. There are things people feel they cannot discuss with a psychiatrist or therapist- for starters because they write everything down. If someone’s already feeling insecure, confused, or guilty about a thought, feeling or desire, they wouldn’t want to go to someone like that. They’d want to go to someone who they can not only have confidence that they won’t judge them but also that they have confidentiality and discretion.
Not to mention that this case against you, blatantly ignores many of the huge misogynistic elephants in the room, starting with the fact that in order for you, or any professional in any profession, to be successful there must be customers! Lots and lots of customers- most of them men. So let’s not pretend that there isn’t a huge number of men who support the Fetish, BDSM & Sex industries when these fields couldn’t possibly thrive the way they do, against all odds, without the outrageous support of men. Hobbyists out number Dommes by a ton and it would be foolish to think otherwise. Whether or not they admit it or display pride for it depends widely on their level of courage and how they’d be perceived for it.
Another no one is talking about is the states claim to detest the sexual “misconduct” as they call it of Dommes and Specialists, yet every branch of our government ignores sexual assault and related issues. You cannot pretend to care about sexual misconduct when tens of thousands of rape kits are going untested across the nation and repeat offenders are getting light sentencing and the freedom to live in proximity to their victims after serving their time. I’ll be impressed when New Jersey’s sexual assault convictions increase, the sentences are harsh, and sexual assault, not the reporting of sexual assault, declines significantly. Until then, they cannot boast pride in their hate for sexual misconduct.
Over here in Los Angeles, the community is Buzzing Madame, a lot of people have some incredible things to say about you. I’m sorry if you truly have been made to feel ashamed for your past as a Dominatrix, but I commend you. There are a lot of Pro-Domes and Fetish Specialists right now who are very proud of our community and what we do- the people who have come before us paved the way for us to walk so proud.
Because we’re not just fighting for the right to play with whips and ropes, take people’s money and beat men up- we’re fighting to exist in a world where we are not shamed for our sexuality. I find the people in charge of your fate insultingly ungrateful for the incredible sacrifice you made by stating your grief and remorse over your past and I hope you beat and rise above all of this.
My question to you now is what do you need? What can the community do to help you excel in your career?
—Madame Margherite and Los Angeles Community
We know the laws, have contacts and can write letters like poetry…